February 2012
112 posts
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Sound Like a Game Built for Real Men.
(832):
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
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Scotch is Part of Any Well-Balanced Dinner.
(360):
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
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Real Men Know Certain Conversations Need to Be in...
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Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
(404):
Things like this can’t be explained over text man
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Man-Fact: Cats are Good for Experiments.
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
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Real Men Play Real Drinking Games.
(604):
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink…
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Public Service Announcement from Bros Everywhere
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I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
(708):
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
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There is No Such Thing as "Having Limits" - Real...
(812):
If I believed in “responsibility” and “having limits”, I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
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Bros Help Bros Using Whatever Means Necessary.
(254):
By the way, I’m pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
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Creative Drinking is a Sign that You Are With a...
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siamese drinking twins saturday is a go … bring duct tape.
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Men Handle Break-Ups Extremely Well.
(570):
I’m laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That’s how this break up is going..
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Not Everyone Understands a Real Man's Definition...
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I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
(757):
you don’t get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
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Real Men Never Quit.
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You know what I’m hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I’m a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
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Real Men Understand Women's Mustache-Envy.
(515):
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
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Real Men Make Their Own Entertainment.
(914):
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
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Real Men Appreciate a Woman Who Thinks Ahead.
(402):
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
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Real Men are Fiscally Responsible.
(540):
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
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Real Men are True Patriots, Willing to Give...
(916):
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
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